


Just Let Me Hold You While You're Falling Apart

by perfectromanceinmymind



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-11
Updated: 2013-09-08
Packaged: 2017-11-25 03:33:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/634676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perfectromanceinmymind/pseuds/perfectromanceinmymind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>April tries to figure out how to break some news to Jackson and then they figure out how to navigate their new relationship. Post S8 finale.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like it's important to say that at the time I began writing this, I really hoped that the actual show wouldn't go this route. I'm still relieved that they haven't, but I do still get that it's an intriguing possibility. However, in the interest of full disclosure, I must tell ya'll that I am struggling a bit with this story. Because I fall very firmly into the Cristina Yang school of thought on the subject of babies/children - none for me, please. Ever. Ever, ever, ever. As Cristina said, I love children. I respect children. I just don't want them. So it's a little hard for me to write an unexecpected pregnancy story where both characters are okay with it, for the most part. So it's been a bit slow going at times, but I'm doing my best. I hope it works for you.  
> The title of this story is a lyric from the Rob Thomas song "Ever the Same" The whole song is just lovely and beautiful and is basically how I see Jackson's mindset. So it might enhance the story if you give the song a listen.

"Oh, God," April whispered, sinking down to sit on the bench in front of her cubby in the resident's lounge.

This could not be happening, she thought and then couldn't help letting a sarcastic snort of laughter escape her lips as she recalled how many times that phrase had applied to her life in the last couple of months. So many things that, at the time, she couldn't believe were happening, things that were not in the plans.

She hadn't planned to fail her boards, of course. Hadn't planned on losing all her job offers and then gaining one back in a cruel twist of fate. She winced, as she always did, as they all seemed to, at the thought of Lexie.

She definitely hadn't planned on attending yet another funeral of a friend who hadn't made it to her thirtieth birthday. And then another funeral after that.

And she really, really hadn't planned on a crazy rush of adrenaline that had led her to have sex with her best friend – and wind up pregnant.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

April didn't mean to tell anyone. She wasn't going to, at least not until she figured out when – and _how_ – to tell Jackson. But when she sat down on the bench in the lounge, she herself had only known for a few hours. Her lab coat had gotten gross that morning, so she'd ducked into the lounge and grabbed a spare from the back of her cubby. Walking back to the ER, she'd stuck her hands in the pockets and her right hand had closed around a tampon. Which is when she'd suddenly realized she hadn't had to use one in way too long – not since before San Francisco. Before sleeping with Jackson. With the stress of failing, having no job, getting ready to move back to Ohio and then the plane crash and the funerals – she totally hadn't even noticed.

So the first chance she got, she'd grabbed a test from a supply closet and snuck off to a little-used bathroom to confirm her sudden gut instinct. She'd stared at the positive result in shock before, like Scarlett O'Hara, deciding she simply couldn't think about it then and had marched back off to work.

But of course it had been all that she could think about, even as she was finishing up her shift in the ER. Thankfully it was a light afternoon and she been able to mostly just sign off on charts before finally escaping.

And now, thankfully, she was alone in the lounge as the full realization hit her like a ton of bricks. Pregnant. A baby. With Jackson.

This was SO not in the plans.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She really hadn't meant to tell anyone. And, in her defense, she didn't really tell them – it just sort of – happened. She didn't even know how long she sat there on that bench, staring into space, before there were voices outside the door and then Meredith and Cristina entered the room.

"Hey, Kepner." Cristina tossed the words casually in her direction, without really looking at her as she walked to her own cubby, but Meredith paused, looking at her with mild concern.

"You okay, April? You look kinda – funny."

"What? Oh, no, I'm not – I mean, yeah, I'm okay," April stammered out and Meredith frowned.

"You sure?"

April just nodded and Meredith shrugged, moving towards her cubby.

"We're heading over to Joe's, wanna come with?" she offered.

"I can't," April replied without thinking. "I can't drink."

Meredith frowned again, this time in confusion. "What? What do you mean you can't drink?"

The question seemed to jolt her back to reality and her eyes widened as she realized what she'd said.

Cristina glanced over at her curiously. "Do you have some kind of weird disease or something?" she asked. "Cause it's not like you'd be pregnant or anything, right?" she added with a laugh and Meredith couldn't help but giggle too.

"Um," April said, "I – uh…" Words failed her and she knew she was pretty incapable of lying anyway, so she just let the sentence trail off lamely and suddenly Cristina spun around to face her.

"Oh, my God, you are pregnant, aren't you? That's why you failed the boards! You lost your virgin superpowers!" Cristina looked triumphant. "I can't believe I didn't figure it out before!"

Meredith looked even more confused than she had before. "Virgin superpowers?" she echoed quietly, looking at April for clarification.

April shrugged. "It's a theory she came up with last year – I don't know."

"Who was it?" Cristina demanded. "Do we know him?"

April glared at her. "I'm not telling you."

"Hah – so it's true!"

Meredith sat down next to April. "Is it? Are you –" she gestured in the general vicinity of April's stomach.

April sighed. "Yeah," she admitted, knowing it would be easier to just go ahead and be honest. "But I only just found out, so please, please don't tell anyone till I've had a chance to tell – him."

Meredith nodded and Cristina shrugged. "So he's here then? And we do know him?" she asked again.

"Yes, but –" she paused and took a deep breath, feeling completely overwhelmed all of a sudden. "Can we please not play a guessing game about it?" she asked, hating the pleading note in her voice but somehow unable to eliminate it.

"Sure. Just tell us whose it is," Cristina said with a grin. "No guessing required."

April rolled her eyes. "Very funny, Cristina."

Meredith shook her head. "C'mon, leave her alone."

"You're no fun, Mer," Cristina complained.

Meredith shrugged. "I already know who the guy is. I don't have to be fun."

April and Cristina both stared at her in surprise. "Wha-" "How?"

Meredith shrugged again, hiding a grin. "Well, it's obvious. He's been different ever since the boards – watching you when he thinks no one's looking, being much more concerned and attentive than just a friend would be – it just makes sense."

"Really?" April asked, sounding incredulous and Meredith nodded.

"Really."

Cristina was starting to look a little murderous and April gave in, knowing that she would know soon enough anyway. "It's Jackson," she admitted. "In San Francisco, at the boards. You were helping Meredith while she was sick and Alex had run back here because of Morgan's baby and it was just me and him hanging out in the hotel and then I got in a fight in the bar and the adrenaline was flowing and we just – let ourselves get carried away."

"You got in a fight? In the bar?" It was Cristina's turn to be incredulous and April laughed.

"Yeah. Long story. So anyway –" she sighed, her expression turning serious again, "I better skip Joe's and find him to break the news. Oh God," she said softly. "I really don't want to."

Meredith and Cristina both looked sympathetic. "But you have to," Meredith said. "Trust me, the sooner the better."

Cristina nodded in agreement, adding, "Good luck."

"Thanks," April said, watching them leave and trying to figure out how she was going to do this.


	2. Chapter 2

In the end, three days had passed before April finally shared the news with Jackson.

Just like she hadn't meant to tell Meredith and Cristina, she hadn't meant to not tell Jackson. But she just couldn't bring herself to do it, to get him alone and form the words. She'd never imagined having to do this, break the news of a surprise pregnancy. She'd never really though much at all about having kids but she'd always kinda figured that if she did have them, it would be with a husband and he would be there with her when she took the test, waiting anxiously for the results. This situation had never been anywhere near the realm of possibility for her.

Yeah, April could admit it – she was a big, giant chicken.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You've been avoiding me."

It's a statement, not a question and it startled April completely. She was sitting in the cafeteria, eating a pudding cup and she nearly dropped her spoon as her head jerked up to see Jackson sitting down across the table from her, frowning slightly. "Is that all you're eating for lunch?" he added, nodding at the pudding, and April shrugged.

"Not hungry," she replied. She was lucky – she hadn't really had morning sickness or nausea at all – the only time she'd thrown up in the past few weeks was when she'd made the horrible connection as to why Owen once again had the funds to give her a job – but she also hadn't had much of an appetite at all. She knew she'd need to work on eating healthier, but she figured a few more days wouldn't hurt too much.

"And I'm not avoiding you," she added. "We ate lunch together yesterday." A lunch that had been somewhat awkward for her, given that Meredith was also at the table, giving her questioning looks when it became obvious that Jackson wasn't acting any different towards April and had not had the news shared with him yet.

Jackson rolled his eyes. "Yeah, with Alex and Mer. You seem to find any excuse lately to avoid me – at least me alone. What gives?"

April shrugged again, not really sure what to say. Because the truth was, he was right, of course. She had been avoiding him – even before the pregnancy realization. She simply wasn't ready for any further discussion of what had happened between them – and what it might mean for the future. He'd made it pretty clear that she was a large part of why he'd changed his mind about New Orleans and decided to stay in Seattle. A big part of it was because of Mark, too, but she was a definite factor.

He leaned in across the table. "Look, I'm sorry if I freaked you out by saying I think I'd like us to be more, but I –"

April felt tears pricking the back of her eyelids as she held up a hand, cutting him off. "Jackson – I can't – I'm sorry – just, please – " she took a deep breath, squaring her shoulders as she forced herself to look him in the eye. "Look – we need to talk."

Jackson looked mildly exasperated. "Yeah, I know. That's what I've been saying for like, weeks."

"No – I – God" April pressed her hands to her eyes for a moment before standing up. "Not here, okay? Come on."

"Okay," Jackson said as he followed her out of the cafeteria, confusion and curiosity mingling on his face as she led him to an on-call room and locked the door behind her.

He grinned at her. "Should I take this as a positive sign?"

April grimaced in response, wondering, for a fleeting moment if she should take advantage of the moment – kiss him or, hell, sleep with him again before telling the truth. She really didn't know how he was going to react and she was fully prepared (or at least she had convinced herself she was prepared) for the reaction to be bad. She had no idea how he felt about having kids and while he may have thought he wanted a relationship with her, she was reasonably sure that the word 'forever' had not exactly crossed his mind. Then she shook her head at herself. No, that definitely would not be the right thing to do.

While she had been thinking this, he had been moving closer to her and she reached out and placed her palm flat against his chest, pushing him away. Keeping him at arm's length.

Jackson laughed. "Don't trust yourself?" he teased gently.

"Jackson – stop."

Something about her tone finally got his attention and the grin slid off his face as he looked at her, really looked at her and saw the look on her face, the uncertainty in her eyes.

"April, what's the matter?" he asked quietly. "Something is not right and I want to help –"

April closed her eyes briefly as he spoke and then opened them again as she blurted it out without waiting for him to finish his sentence.

"I'm pregnant."

Jackson blinked as April sank down to sit on the edge of the bed and looked up at him with wide eyes; sad, scared eyes.

"What?" He honestly wasn't sure he'd heard her right.

"Pregnant," April repeated, finally giving in to the tears, letting them slide down her face.

"But – how? We used –" Jackson's voice trailed off as he thought back to the days in San Francisco.

April nodded as she saw the recognition dawn on his face. "Not the sec-second time. In the bathroom."

Jackson looked shell-shocked and she began to cry in earnest as he slowly sat down beside her, moving almost automatically as he put an arm around her and she buried her face in his shoulder.

"I – I'm so sorry," she cried and those words cut through the haze in his brain as he pulled away from her so he could see her face.

"Sorry? For what? It's not your fault," he said and April shook her head.

"Yes it is."

Jackson shook his head, firmly. "Fine, okay, it's your fault but it's my fault too, okay? I mean – we're adults, we're doctors – we should have known better –"

"I feel so stupid," April admitted, managing a sheepish smile, and Jackson nodded.

"Yeah, me too."

"I'm sorry," April said again and Jackson scowled.

"Stop apologizing, okay?"

April nodded. "Okay. Sor-" She caught herself before she said the rest of the word and Jackson just shook his head, smiling a little to himself.

"Okay, we'll work on that."

April nodded as Jackson glanced at his watch. "You got anything scheduled this afternoon?"

April shook her head.

"Think Hunt would miss you?"

"I don't know – probably. At least eventually – why?"

"'Cause I don't have a surgery for another couple hours so that should give us enough time to get this taken care of." He stood up and grabbed her hand, tugging her to her feet. "C'mon, let's go."

April was thoroughly confused. "Get what taken care of? What the hell are you talking about?" she asked as she took a step back from him.

His response was completely matter-of-fact. "Going down to the courthouse and getting married." The 'duh' was unspoken, but oh, she heard it.

"Excuse me?" April's tone was equal parts incredulous and indignant. "Have you lost your mind? Did you just say getting married?"

"Yes."

April just stared at him. Was he high? Did he have a secret mental illness she'd never known about? "We are not getting married."

"Do you want to call my mother and tell her you're having her illegitimate grandchild?" Jackson replied calmly and April's mouth fell open.

"What?" Although, the mention of his mother did give her pause. She hadn't even really thought about how she would tell her own parents and her sisters, let alone with dealing with Catherine Avery. "Is that something else that's unbecoming of an Avery?" she snapped sarcastically.

Jackson opened his mouth to reply, but she just kept right on talking. "And anyway, how do you even know I'll be having her grandchild? Considering you haven't even bothered to ask how I feel about this, if I'm even planning to keep the baby!"

Jackson, she was surprised to note, looked stricken by those words. "Are you?" he asked softly. "Keeping it, I mean?"

Chastened by the look on his face, April nodded. "Yes. I couldn't – I mean, I'm not anti-abortion at all – but – it's not the right choice for me. But I don't expect anything from you, I swear," she hastened to add. "You don't have to do any—"

"April," he interrupted her. "Have you not listened to me? You are not going to be on your own with this. Or, well, you don't have to be. Let me do this with you." He reached out for her and this time, she let herself be pulled into his arms. "You and me, against the world, right?"

April nodded, suddenly crying so hard again she couldn't speak, and Jackson just held her for a long time before the tears subsided and he leaned back slightly so he could see her face.

"You okay?"

She nodded again. "Yeah. Hormones, I guess. And you. You're – you're freaking amazing. Thank you. For being –" she gestured helplessly, unable to find the right words. "For this. All of it – being so understanding and –"

Jackson shrugged. "I love you. That makes it easy."

April stared at him. "What?"

He shrugged again. "I love you. That's what I've been trying to get you to realize for weeks. I've been in love with you since San Francisco. Maybe even before, I don't know –"

April cut him off with a kiss. He loved her! And maybe, just maybe, the reason she'd been so scared about everything was because she loved him too and just wasn't quite ready to acknowledge it.

"I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you too," she admitted as they broke apart and Jackson grinned.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," she grinned back before sternly declaring, "But that doesn't mean I'm going to run off and marry you!"

"Yeah? Well, we'll see about that," he countered as he pulled her into another kiss.


	3. Chapter 3

April broke off the kiss and took a step back from him, crossing her arms over her chest as she spoke. "I'm serious. I am not going to marry you just because we're having a baby."

"Why are you so dead set against the idea?" Jackson questioned.

"Why are you so hell bent on it?" April countered.

"Because it's the right thing do to!" Jackson replied, a touch of exasperation in his voice.

April could only stare at him for a moment before echoing, "'The right thing to do?' Are you serious?" She shook her head in disbelief.

"Yes, I'm serious," Jackson said stubbornly, knowing he was probably treading on thin ice but standing his ground anyway. "And I don't understand why you don't agree that it's what we have to do."

"Um, how about because this is not 1950?" April said sarcastically. "Newsflash, Jackson, it's the 21st century. People don't 'have' to get married anymore. We're not going to be shunned by our colleagues. For heaven's sake, your mentor has a child with his ex-girlfriend and her wife. An unmarried heterosexual couple like us is boring by those standards."

"Okay, maybe you have a point," Jackson conceded. He paused, the struggle to find the right words evident on his face. Finally he took a breath and asked, "Okay, but what about the Jesus thing? Isn't an out-of-wedlock baby something else He might be disappointed by?"

The indignation on April's face all seemed to disappear as she sat down on the bed again. "I thought about that," she admitted. "And then I thought about the fact that Jesus Himself was born out of wedlock, remember? Mary was still Joseph's betrothed when they arrived in Bethlehem, not yet his wife." She flashed him a grin. "Even a heathen like you should know that story."

Jackson rolled his eyes. "I'm not a heathen. I've been to church at least a few times," he grinned back before turning serious again. "I just – I never knew before, how important your faith was to you and I'm trying to be sensitive to that," he explained as he sat down beside her.

April smiled at him. "I appreciate that. But maybe the first thing you should be sensitive about is to remember that having a religious faith doesn't automatically make you ultra-conservative. So, it's okay. We don't 'have' to get married. I'm not going to die of shame. My father is not going to come after you with a shotgun. I don't think, anyway," she added thoughtfully.

Jackson glanced sideways at her. "A little more confidence to that statement would really be appreciated."

April giggled. "I'm just messing with you. At least they've met you before, that one time they came to visit before the merger. The very first time they met my brother-in-law, Kimmie was already pregnant and Dad didn't kill him. Their marriage sucks and from what I can tell from two thousand miles away, they're not particularly happy but Brett's still alive so that counts for something, right?"

"And it all makes sense now," Jackson said knowingly and April turned to look at him.

"What do you mean it all makes sense?"

"C'mon, April. I've known you long enough to know that Kimmie's the sister you have the least respect for. That's why you don't want to get married – you don't want to end up unhappy like her."

April blinked in surprise at his statement. "Wow. You're good. 'Cause I actually think you're right. I hadn't even really totally realized it yet, but you're right. I don't want to rush into a marriage that might be doomed from the start."

Jackson looked like he was about to protest that statement and she shook her head, deciding she needed the mood to lighten a bit. "Besides, you ordering me down to the courthouse on an extended lunch break is not exactly my idea of a romantic proposal."

Jackson grinned. "Oh, well, if it's romance you're looking for, I can totally get down on one knee, if that'll get you to do it."

April laughed. "You're nuts. And no, it won't change my mind. I mean, be serious with me. If there was no pregnancy, no baby involved – would you really be thinking about marrying me?"

Jackson was quiet and April smiled, a little sadly. "See? My point exactly."

"April –"

"No, it's okay, really." April was quick to reassure him. "Because at this point, baby or no, us getting married is crazy. If we had been dating for a year or so and had this happen, then yeah, it'd be totally different. But we're not even a couple –"

"We are now," Jackson interrupted and April waved an impatient hand, even as she couldn't help smiling at the words.

"Okay, then, we've been a couple for all of like 5 minutes, whatever." April shook her head. "Look, I'm not saying I'll never marry you, okay? Just – not today. Okay? I have enough have to think about – telling our friends, telling my family, telling your mother –" her voice trailed off for a moment before she continued, "I'm really a little overwhelmed right now."

Jackson looked chagrinned. "I'm sorry. You did yell at me earlier about not asking you how you feel – are you okay?"

"I'm alright," April replied. "And I didn't yell. I just pointed it out very emphatically."

"Oh, okay then. But seriously, do you feel okay? Have you seen a doctor?"

"Looking at one right now," April joked and Jackson rolled his eyes.

"Lame. You know I meant an OB."

"I know. And no, not yet. I have an appointment later this week. But really, I've felt pretty okay. I haven't had much of an appetite, but I haven't been, like, nauseous or anything – I guess I've been lucky. But, you know, there's been so much going on – we've been so busy, it could be that I just haven't noticed."

Jackson studied her for a moment before asking, "And how are you mentally?"

April shrugged. "I don't know," she admitted. "I'm feeling a hundred different things all at once. Terrified, mostly." She looked over at him and he reached out to take her hand in his.

"Yeah, me too. This is kinda –"

"Yeah," April agreed, looking thoughtful. "I mean – I never really thought much about kids. I kinda figured, at this point – by the time I got involved with someone, it would probably be too late, ya know? But now – and I know this sounds crazy and I don't want you to ever, for even a second, think that this was something I wanted to happen – but now that it has – and I'm scared and nervous and absolutely certain that I'm gonna mess something up like I have everything else in my life – well, there's part of me that's a little bit excited." She bit her lip as she looked at him uncertainly. "That's nuts, isn't it?"

Jackson shrugged. "A little, yeah," he had to admit, even as he squeezed her hand reassuringly. "But – I get it. I've never thought much about kids either. I've never even spent much time in peds the way you have. But, you know, being around Zola and Sofia this year – they're both pretty cute. So yeah, I mean, I get it, being a little excited."

"Are you, at all?"

Jackson was quiet for a moment, thinking. "I really don't know yet. I'm kinda still in shock, I think."

"Understandable," April replied, looking rueful as she admitted, "I've had a couple days to get used to the idea. It helps. Check back with me at the end of the week, see how you feel then."

Jackson laughed. "Sounds like a plan. So – are we telling people yet?"

"About what?" April asked. "Us or the baby or both?"

"Both."

"Do we really have to make a big 'announcement'?" April questioned. "I mean, can't we just be a couple and let people figure it out on their own?"

Jackson shrugged. "Whatever, I guess so. Works for me."

"And as for the baby – I mean, it's probably better to wait another month or so, because you know ten to twenty percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage and the biggest risk is in the first trimester and –"

"And I see you've already been researching like crazy," Jackson said with a grin.

(Actually, she'd done this research back when Meredith had lost her baby the day of the shooting and she was trying to help her in the only way she knew how, but whatever.)

She just waved off this statement and continued talking, "And – but, Meredith and Cristina already know," she confessed. "And I'm really, really sorry, because I really didn't mean for anyone else to know before you did but they showed up not long after I'd taken the test and I was totally in shock and they could tell something was wrong and they asked me to Joe's and I wasn't thinking right and said something about not being able to drink and they kinda guessed from there, so I didn't really tell them, I swear and I'm really sorry because I wanted you to know first and –"

"April! April – it's okay." Jackson shook his head. "That explains a lot, actually, the looks I've been getting from the two of them."

"Yeah, sorry about that too."

"Will you stop apologizing?" Jackson demanded, exasperated.

"Right," April muttered. "Gonna work on that."


	4. Chapter 4

April had thought that telling Jackson would be the hard part. That screwing up the courage to confess to him how her impulsivity had irrevocably changed their lives would be the most difficult part of this.

She was so wrong.

She'd just never thought past that initial conversation. And, to be honest, she'd really expected him to take the news with a calm sort of detachment. The stereotypical "I'll stand by whatever you want to do but that's all" kind of response. She hadn't expected him to respond with promises and declarations of love and a marriage proposal (threat? She still hadn't quite worked out how she felt about that part of his reaction).

April finished up her work day that afternoon in a bit of a daze. It was kind of hitting her all of sudden that not only was she going to be someone's mother in less than a year, she was all of a sudden now someone's girlfriend.

And the girlfriend thing kind of scared her more than the motherhood thing. Oh sure, motherhood scared her too – a tiny human entirely dependent on her? April could easily admit she was a control freak and she knew that having a kid was the ultimate exercise in giving up control. But she did give some credence to the idea of maternal instincts. And until they'd moved out back in the spring, she'd had a front-row seat to watch Meredith and Derek adjust to parenthood and they seemed to be doing okay, even though she knew that Meredith had never thought she'd be the mom type. But all you had to do was look around at all the functioning people in the world who had, at one time, been tiny babies. They'd survived. April had no doubt that, while it might be challenging, she'd be able to figure out being a mom.

But being a girlfriend? Yeah, she'd never done that before. It was something of a terrifying prospect. Even with roommates, she was used to being accountable only to herself. If she wanted to spend 3 hours reading in a coffee shop before heading home, she did. If she wanted to fly home to see her family, she went. She followed the rules of common courtesy – she let her roommates know if she wasn't going to be home or offered to grab them something if she was picking up takeout. It was the polite thing to do. But she had no idea how things might be different now. Especially since the whole thing was so different than anything she might have ever imagined. She didn't just have a boyfriend now – they lived in the same apartment. She was pregnant with their baby.

It was all just weird to think about.

And even though these thoughts were in the back of her mind through the afternoon, April didn't really grasp how weird it would be until she got home that night. She'd gotten hung up with a patient and ended up getting home later than expected. She entered the apartment to find Jackson and Alex both in the living room, watching whatever was on ESPN, Alex in the armchair, Jackson sprawled on the couch. Both guys tossed noncommittal greetings in her direction, but while Alex didn't even look away from the TV, Jackson turned to look at her and that's when it truly hit her, how weird this was, how different the world was all of a sudden.

She felt a strange sort of paralysis – she didn't know where she should go, what she should do. Normally, she would have either grabbed a beer and sat down with them or headed to her room to read or check in her sisters' lives via Facebook or something. But the beer part was obviously out now and she didn't want to go to her room and have Jackson think she was avoiding him again. But sitting down next to him on the couch brought up the dilemma of how close was too close. Part of her kind of really wanted to curl up beside him, put her head on his shoulder and feel, for just a few minutes, like everything would be okay. But she certainly couldn't do that with Alex around and even if he hadn't happened to be there she still would have felt awkward about it, would have agonized over it being the right decision. She just really didn't know what to do.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jackson managed to hide his relief as the apartment door opened and April came in, looking exhausted. He'd managed to behave normally with Karev while they watched SportsCenter or whatever, but in the back of his mind, he'd been irrationally concerned with why April wasn't home yet. He knew she was probably with a patient and that he was being dumb to worry but he couldn't help it.

He'd always worried about April, to some extent. She was sensitive, vulnerable even, and he'd long seen himself as her protector of sorts. And then since San Francisco and everything that happened there and realizing that somewhere along the line he'd fallen in love with her, those protective instincts had become even stronger. And now? After her lunchtime revelation? The protective instincts were off the charts. 'Cause it wasn't just her now. It was the baby – their baby.

Their baby. Jackson shook his head just the tiniest bit. It was gonna take a while to wrap his mind around that phrase. It had kinda surprised him how easily he'd accepted the news. Oh, it certainly wasn't anything he'd wanted to happen and he could kick himself for not using better judgment in that bathroom. He should have known better. But he had to admit that if this kid was the catalyst to get April to finally stop hiding from him and actually consider a relationship with him, well, then it couldn't be all bad. Maybe he'd rethink that when he was changing diapers and getting three hours of sleep but for now, he was just happy she'd agreed to date him, to being his girlfriend.

He looked over at her as he said hi and she smiled a little hesitantly in response, still standing by the front door, doing that subconscious chewing-on-her-bottom-lip thing that she did when she was uncertain about something.

"You alright?" he queried and she nodded, finally coming around to the far side of the couch and sitting down.

"Just a long day, that's all," she said quietly.

"You had dinner yet?" Jackson asked.

"Yeah, we were hoping you'd pick something up," Alex added and April shook her head.

"Not hungry, sorry."

Jackson frowned at this. "Have you had anything since that pudding cup?"

April shook her head.

"April, that's not healthy," Jackson said. "You need to eat…" He let his sentence trail off, knowing that she wouldn't want him to say too much in front of Alex.

April glared at him. "I know that. I just can't think of anything that I feel like eating right now, okay?"

"Nothing?" Jackson pressed. "'Cause –"

April glared harder before snapping, "Lay off, Jackson. I said I'm not hungry, okay?" With a sigh, she stood up and disappeared down the hall to her room, shutting her door perhaps a touch harder than necessary.

Alex looked befuddled by the entire exchange he'd just witnessed. "God, dude, what is her problem?"

Jackson ignored the question and Alex continued, "And why are you concerned about her eating? What, you think she's anorexic or something? Hardly."

Jackson debated for a few seconds before replying, "No. She's pregnant."

Alex stared at him for a split second and then snorted with laughter. "Yeah, right. The queen of the virgins? With whose baby, God's?"

Jackson rolled his eyes at what would probably not be the first of the immaculate conception jokes April would be the butt of and then replied, "No. Mine."


	5. Chapter 5

He was probably lucky, Jackson thought later, that his blurted-out confession had not happened at the same time Alex was drinking his beer. Otherwise, he surely would have been the victim of a classic spit-take.

As it was, Alex just stared at him for a few moments before laughing again. "Yeah, right, dude. You're making this shit up."

Jackson shook his head. "'Fraid not."

It was almost funny, Jackson had to admit. Karev was looking at him like he was babbling in a foreign language; like he _literally_ could not comprehend the subject.

"Are you serious?" Alex finally replied, sounding completely incredulous. "You – and _Kepner_? And you freakin' knocked her up?" He shook his head. "Man, that sucks. Trading in your V-card for a baby. Figures though, the way things have been going for her lately."

Jackson shrugged non-committally, not really sure how to answer that.

Alex was quiet a minute and then shook his head again. "Seriously, you and Kepner? How the hell did that even happen?" He shot Jackson a knowing look. "Pity sex? Or grief sex?"

Jackson glared at him. "Watch it, Karev. Don't forget how I kicked your ass over her once. And that was way before she was ever my girlfriend or having my baby – I'll be glad to do it again."

"Girlfriend?" Alex was back to looking uncomprehending. "Since when?" He made a face. "Dude, has this all been going on right here in my own home?"

Jackson sighed and then finally explained. "We hooked up in San Francisco, at the boards. You were gone, Meredith was sick, Yang was helping her – it was just me and her. And it was all nerves and adrenaline and I don't know – it just happened. And – whatever," he added, shrugging. There was no need to get into all the rest of it.

Alex looked kind of shell-shocked. Truthfully, Jackson couldn't really blame him – it was a lot to take in all at once.

"Do I need to start looking for somewhere else to live or something?" Alex asked suddenly.

"No," Jackson replied, sounding like he thought it was a stupid question. "I mean, not unless you want to. I mean, she's only like eight weeks – it's gonna be a while before it gets here." He grinned. "Maybe Shepherd'll finally finish that damn house and you can move back to Meredith's place and have it all to yourself."

Alex shrugged. "Maybe." He wasn't entirely certain he'd want to live in Mer's place by himself. Too many ghosts – living and dead – haunted that place. Ava – Izzie – Lexie. Even George. But Jackson was right – nothing had to be decided right away.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jackson left Alex lost in thought in the living room and steeled himself before walking down the hall and knocking on April's door.

"Go away," was the muffled reply and he sighed before trying the door handle. Locked. Great.

"April, c'mon. Let me in. Please?"

There was a long moment of silence and then the lock clicked and the door opened. He stepped into the room and shut the door behind him. She had walked a few steps away from him but then she abruptly stopped and turned back to him.

"You don't get to tell me what to do," she snapped. "That's not how this works."

"Ohhkay," he said slowly. "I didn't think I was telling you what to do, but if that's how it seemed then I'm sorry?"

April nodded and then to Jackson's surprise (and to be honest, slight horror), she burst into tears for the he didn't even know how many-eth time that day.

"I'm sorry too," she sniffled. "I just – I don't know how to do this and I didn't know what to or how to act and –"

"Don't know how to do what?" Jackson asked, not sure what she meant. "Have a baby? Nobody knows that at the beginning –"

"No," April wailed, cutting him off. "I don't know how to be your girlfriend. I've never done that before. I've never been anyone's girlfriend – I have no idea –" she suddenly cut herself off, realizing that her voice was rising. "Crap! Do you think Alex heard that?" she hissed, sounding a little panicky.

Jackson took a deep breath – suddenly nervous 'cause he was reasonably sure this wasn't gonna go over too well – and admitted, "Doesn't matter if he did. I already told him."

April's eyes widened as she stared at him. "What? I thought we weren't going to – you told him we're dating or about the baby?"

"Both." He watched for a second as her mouth opened and then closed again. She was obviously at a loss for words.

"He might as well know now," Jackson pointed out. "He lives here. If we can't talk about this here and be comfortable in our own home, then what's the point? Besides," he added carefully, "you said Meredith and Cristina already know, so…"

April couldn't ignore the logic in that statement and he watched as the fight went out of her. She smiled ruefully. "How many rude jokes did he make at our expense?"

Jackson smiled in relief. If she was making jokes then she wasn't too truly upset – just nervous and unsure like she always was in a new situation.

"Only a couple. And I threatened to beat him up again if he made any more."

April giggled at this. "My hero," she teased, batting her eyelashes for dramatic effect. Even though it wasn't totally a joke. She'd never forget him defending her that night at Cristina and Owen's housewarming. It was the first time she'd ever – for even just a split second – thought, _'well…maybe_ …' – and then the moment had passed. And then, a year and a half later, here they were. Life was so freakin' funny that way sometimes.

"Also," Jackson said, sitting down on the bed and motioning her over to sit next to him, "here's the thing about being a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend. No one really knows how to do it. There aren't any rules. It's different for every couple. What makes one couple perfectly happy might make another couple miserable. We just have to figure it out as we go."

April nodded. "I really, really suck at that," she said, a touch glumly. "I like having a plan." Jackson nodded in acknowledgement and then April shook her head. "But look at where all my plans got me. Nowhere near where I thought I'd be. So maybe – living without a plan won't be so bad."

"One step at a time," Jackson agreed.

April nodded, but was quiet for a few minutes before finally asking quietly, "Will you sleep in here with me tonight?"

Jackson studied her face as she looked at him a little hesitantly. "If you're sure…"

April nodded. "Yeah. I mean, I don't know if I want to – you know," she stammered out, blushing furiously, "but – I want to wake up with you," she admitted. "Like we should have at the hotel. I'm sorry I made you leave."

Jackson shrugged. "'S'alright. If it was what you needed, then, well…"

April nodded and then frowned. "Is this gonna be weird for Alex?"

Jackson snorted. "Do you think I care? Besides, no. He won't care either. He slept with half the women who ever lived in Meredith's house – I think he's cool with roommates having a sex life."

April giggled, leaning against his side as he put his arm around her. Tomorrow was the first day of a new world and they'd start it together.


	6. Chapter 6

Even as a team, things were still a little weird at the start. That first night, there was the awkwardness of leaving her room and heading to the kitchen to make a sandwich and encountering Alex at the table eating his own dinner. He looked up and smirked.

"Do not start with me," April declared before he could say a word. She was blushing furiously but was determined to stand her ground. "Yes, I'm not a virgin anymore. Yes, I managed to get knocked up on my second time. Yes, Jackson and I are together now. And no, you are not gonna give me crap about it!" She finished her mini-rant, crossing her arms and glaring at him.

Jackson, watching this exchange while leaning against the doorway, grinned proudly while Alex looked a little taken aback. Finally, he shrugged, rolled his eyes and replied, "Whatever. Go ahead, ruin all my fun."

"That's my plan," April shot back as she pulled out the bread.

Alex looked over at Jackson. "She's kinda mean pregnant. Good luck dude."

"Thanks," Jackson replied dryly as April rolled her eyes and ignored them.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And then there was the weirdness later that night, of coming out of her bathroom (by virtue of being the only girl in the place, Alex and Jackson had let her take the master bedroom with its private bath while they shared the hall one), dressed for bed in the tank top and sleep shorts she wore in the summertime, and finding Jackson waiting for her, sitting on the bed wearing only a pair of jammie pants, back against the wall and legs stretched out in front of him.

It was ridiculous, really, for her to suddenly feel so shy. Even before San Francisco she'd seen the man in various stages of undress – changing in the locker rooms, sharing the one bathroom in Meredith's house – so him being shirtless shouldn't be any kind of big deal. And then, in San Francisco, she'd seen everything. They'd been as close as two people could be.

But that had been in an anonymous hotel room. And an even more anonymous bathroom stall. Here in her room, on her own bed – it was just different.

Jackson was studying her carefully. "You okay?" he asked as she approached the bed.

She nodded. And then told herself to grow up. She pulled back the covers and got underneath them, Jackson following her lead. And she had to admit, when he reached over and pulled her to him, it felt really nice. She curled into the space beside him like it had been made for her and was asleep in no time.

Waking up beside him the next morning had been just as sweet. It was crazy. She should feel like she was rushing things, like they were moving too fast, but it all just felt so right. And so, despite a few awkward moments and fumbles here and there, the first couple months of her pregnancy kinda just flew by. Like she and Jackson were in their own little bubble of happiness.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

But eventually – bubbles burst.

She was eating lunch with Meredith one day when Cristina suddenly appeared, setting her tray on the table beside Mer's.

"I have news you'll be interested in," she said to April as she sat down.

"Hmm?"

"Guess who the guest lecturer is next week?"

April shrugged. "I don't know. One of the doctors I completely embarrassed myself in front of at the boards? One of the ones who rescinded my job offers?"

"Why are you immediately going to such a negative place?"

"Because you look gleeful about whoever it is," April replied.

Cristina looked offended. "That doesn't automatically mean that it's terrible. I like things to be interesting, but I'm not cruel."

"That's debatable, but whatever. Who is it?"

Cristina grinned triumphantly. "Your baby's grandmamma."

April nearly choked on her food. "Cath – Dr. Avery? No. She can't be. Jackson would have warned me."

Cristina shrugged. "He might not know. I just overheard Owen and the Chief talking about it."

"Oh God," April groaned.

"She doesn't know yet, does she?" Meredith asked and April shook her head. While most of the hospital knew that she and Jackson were dating, they had made no formal announcement about the pregnancy. Some people knew, some didn't. They weren't actively trying to hide it, just not broadcasting information about it.

"She doesn't even know we're dating," April admitted. "We haven't seen her since before."

"Is that a good sign for your relationship?"

April made a face. "You've met Catherine Avery, remember? She's brilliant – but a little crazy. She knows Jackson's seeing someone, just not who. And I defriended her on Facebook ages ago."

"Well," Meredith said philosophically, "at least she already knows you. And she likes you even. That's a good start."

"Yeah, but that was before I had a very inappropriate encounter with her son and got pregnant. She's gonna hate me."

"Maybe not. I figured Derek's mom would hate me and it turned out okay. And now there's Zola and Carolyn adores her – grandchildren can help, even the unplanned ones."

April didn't look convinced. "It's funny," she finally said. "I've had literally like almost no nausea the whole time I've been pregnant – and suddenly, I seriously want to barf."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was another hour or so before she ran in to Jackson at the nurse's station. It only took one brief glance at her for him to realize that something wasn't right.

"What's wrong?" he asked in concern. "You don't look like you feel so good."

April shook her head. "I'm okay. I just – I've been doing some thinking this afternoon and I've made a decision."

Jackson cocked his head to the side, studying her quizzically. "Oh—kay…" he said expectantly, but completely unprepared for what she said next.

"We have to get married."


	7. Chapter 7

Jackson blinked in surprise. He wasn't sure what he'd expected his girlfriend to say, given her current state of heightened emotions and hormones, but that definitely wasn't it. "We have to what?"

"Get married," April repeated matter-of-factly, a stubborn look coming into her eyes.

Jackson took a deep breath and steered her towards the nearby conference room, pushing her gently in the direction of a chair and closing the door behind them before sitting down in the chair next to hers. "Okay. Can I remind you that I asked you to marry me like two months ago and you said no, we didn't need to? What happened to it not being necessary, because it's not the fifties and all?"

April looked just the slightest bit sheepish, but it passed quickly as she launched into an explanation of her rationale. "Your mother is gonna be here next week and if she's gonna be here then we have to tell her about us and about the baby and if we tell her about it then we have to tell my parents and I – I – I don't know, I know it's totally stupid and ridiculous and – and insane – but I can't tell my parents I'm pregnant and not married!"

Jackson took a second to wonder how she'd managed to spit out all those words without taking a single breath, but before he could really ponder the question, the first part of her monologue clicked in his head. "Wait, _what_? My mother is coming here? _Again_? When? Why? Are you sure?"

"Next week," April replied, a little more calmly, but still with a slightly agitated edge to her voice. "Guest lecturer. Cristina told me. She heard Owen and the Chief talking about it. The old Chief, not Owen talking to himself."

Jackson chuckled at that and then shook his head. "Okay, so mom's gonna be here. It's no reason to panic."

"Why not?" April retorted. "You panic every time she comes out to Seattle. You can't tell me you're not panicking now."

"Okay, fine, I'm panicking too," Jackson admitted. "But I'm trying to keep it on the inside because you're having a public enough panic attack for both of us, right?"

"Shut up," April said cheerfully, making a face at him. "You know you don't wanna tell her any of this any more than I do."

Jackson grinned before turning serious again. "Okay – so who says we have to tell her anything? I mean, you're not even really showing yet at all, especially in your scrubs."

April shot him a look that plainly said 'yeah right, idiot.' "Um, okay, one, we kinda have to tell her and it probably needed to be soon anyway – we really can't wait until the baby's born to tell her 'surprise! You're a grandma!,' right? And two, this is your mother, Jackson! She will figure it out. She will take one look at me and know that I'm pregnant. I don't know how she'll do it, but she will and you know it!"

Jackson had to admit that she was right. Catherine Avery was not just brilliant; she was incredibly perceptive and intuitive. She would know immediately if they tried to hide anything from her.

"I know," he said finally. "You're right. We have to tell her. But I'm still not sure why we have to get married. Do you not remember her trying to hook you up with the penis transplant's brother? My mother could care less if we ever get married."

"Your grandpa might," April pointed out. She'd only met Harper Avery once and had been so nervous she hadn't said more than hi. The fact that her baby would be the great-grandchild of the legendary surgeon was something she hadn't let herself dwell on at all lest she work herself into a frenzy of anxiety.

Jackson snorted with laughter and then, seeing the indignant look on April's face, hastily apologized. "Sorry. It's just – I mean, if I cared what Grandpa thinks, I'd be at Mass Gen right now, doing a fellowship in a 'real' specialty."

April had to concede the point. "I guess – I mean, we don't _have_ to get married. But I realized today that I've been avoiding telling my parents. And I know I have to do it soon, before I'm very much further along. But for all my big talk about being a modern woman – I just don't think I can tell them I'm having a baby when I'm not married."

"Do you think they're going to be upset?" Jackson asked, genuinely curious. "I mean – you said they were okay with your sister."

April nodded. "Yeah, because she and Brett did get married before my niece was born. And the first question my mother asked, was when – not if, Jackson, _when_ – they were getting married. So, you know – it might help if we've already done that."

Jackson was quiet, considering her words. Finally he turned towards her, taking her hands in his. "Okay – here's what I need to know. Do you want to get married because we're having a baby and you're worried about what your parents think – or do you actually want to marry _me_?"

There was another long moment of silence and then April met his eyes. "I – I want to marry you," she said slowly.

"You sound surprised," Jackson noted and April shook her head, as if clearing it of confusion.

"I actually kinda am," she admitted. "It just hit me, when you asked me that – I want to marry you. Even if there was no baby. I know it seems like, rushed or something, but – I guess that's the bonus of getting involved with someone you've already been friends with for years. I know it sounds clichéd, but these past two months have been the best of my life." She grinned and added teasingly, "Mood swings and all."

Jackson could only grin. "Me too," he agreed before leaning over to kiss her.

"Okay," he said softly as they broke apart. "Let's get married."

April held up a hand. "Wait. I have a question for you." Jackson looked at her expectantly and she continued, "When I told you I was pregnant, you immediately offered to marry me, because it was the 'right thing to do.' Is that still why you're willing to agree so easily now?"

Jackson shook his head and looked down, trying to figure out how to put his feelings into words. "Yes and no," he finally said. "Yes, I still think it's the right thing to do. But it was never the only reason I wanted to marry you. If I'm being honest, I've thought about it ever since San Francisco."

April opened her mouth to protest this but he touched his index finger to her lips before she could say anything.

"Shh," he said. "Just – hear me out. We got back and everything was so confused. Boards results and job offers and major decisions and everything was weird between us and – the one thing I kept thinking about and knew was true was that I could not imagine my life without you." He laughed self-deprecatingly. "I almost proposed the night of the residency dinner, before we found out about the plane, when we were talking in the locker room. You were so – sad and lost – and I just wanted to make things better for you. But I knew then that you'd never believe I was for real. You'd think it was just pity. Or that I was just saying it because you were upset about not being a virgin for your future husband. But – I hope by now that you know better. Even more now than back then – I cannot imagine my life without you in it."

April nodded. "I do know." She held her hand out, palm up, and he covered it with his and she squeezed tightly. She smiled, shaking her head. "And what do you know – I ended up being a virgin for the man I'm gonna marry. So I guess maybe God knows what he's doing after all."

"Maybe so," Jackson agreed before standing up and pulling her to her feet. "C'mon, let's see if we can get out of here and go make you Mrs. Avery."

April wrinkled her nose. "Dr. Mrs. Kepner Avery," she corrected and Jackson groaned.

"That is way too many names," he declared.

"Dr. Kepner at the hospital, April Avery at home?"

"Works for me. Look at that, our first marital compromise!"


	8. Chapter 8

And so, a week later, April found herself in the hospital auditorium, studying the rings on her left hand and waiting for her new mother-in-law to take the stage.

"You're staring at them again," Meredith teased as she claimed a chair in the row behind April.

"I think she's hypnotized by the shine," Cristina grinned as she sat down beside her friend, leaving the aisle seat empty.

April made a face as she twisted around to look at them.

"I can't help it," she confessed. "It's just – I'm so aware of them. Maybe because I have to take them off so often? It makes me notice them more when I have them on?"

"Maybe," Cristina agreed while Meredith shrugged.

"Don't ask me. Derek and I never did get around to getting rings."

April looked at her hand again. She had to admit that the diamond did have a tendency to catch the light. "Jackson insisted," she said. "On the engagement ring. I thought it was kinda silly, since we were only engaged for a few hours, but – whatever."

"All that Avery money and that's the best he could do," Cristina mused sadly, leaning forward for a closer look.

April glared at her. "It has nothing to do with what he _could_ buy; it's the one I wanted."

Cristina shrugged. "Oh well, it's your hand," she said, in a tone that could have been interpreted in more of an 'it's your funeral' sort of way.

April rolled her eyes and then smiled as Jackson came down the aisle, kissing her cheek as he slid into the empty chair beside her, Alex taking the seat behind him.

"How much does it suck living with the honeymooners?" Cristina asked Alex, who just rolled his eyes.

"Whatever." Alex laughed derisively. "Like it's any different than how they've been for months."

April blushed but shot him a glare anyway while Jackson just ignored the comment. He was too busy worrying about his mom to really pay any attention to the conversation around him.

"I keep telling you, you can live in my house again now that we've moved," Meredith said. "I won't charge a ridiculous rent, I promise."

Alex shrugged noncommittally and April tuned them out for a minute as she reflected on Alex's comment that nothing had really changed. It was, somehow, both totally true and totally false.

Really, nothing much had changed. Sure, she was now the owner of a freshly printed marriage certificate, a brightly polished wedding and engagement ring set and a shiny new driver's license declaring that her name was now April Kepner Avery, but beyond that her life was pretty much the same. She still lived and worked in the same place, still went to bed with the same man every night, was still expecting a baby to arrive in a few short months. Not much was different.

But April had to admit that she felt completely different. It was bizarre to think of herself as someone's wife. She had almost given up on ever even being anyone's girlfriend. Being a wife had become a distant, far-off dream she'd really never expected to reach. So now – yeah, she was sort of struggling with how to wrap her head around the idea of being a wife, being Jackson Avery's wife.

Maybe that's why she kept staring at the rings on her left hand – they were a tangible piece of evidence, proof that this was all, in fact, actually happening.

And April knew she'd get used to this eventually. After all, she'd reached a point where it finally didn't feel weird to realize that she was a girlfriend. And while it was still a little unnerving to think about being a mother, she had at least stopped being completely freaked out by the thought of the baby.

And she supposed Alex had a point. She and Jackson had been in a honeymoon sort of phase for months now. But, so what? She'd waited thirty years – could anyone really blame her for making up for lost time?

She tuned back into the conversation in time to hear Cristina asking Jackson, "You really have no idea what she's coming here for today?"

Beside her, Jackson shook his head. "No clue. She didn't even tell me she was coming. Only even said anything to me about it because I brought it up."

"Good morning everyone!" Further speculation was cut off as Catherine Avery's big, bright voice filled the auditorium and the woman herself strolled out on stage.

Jackson involuntarily sank lower in his seat and April reached for his hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

"It'll be okay," she whispered out of the corner of her mouth, fervently hoping that she wasn't lying.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

April really wasn't sure if it was going to be okay.

"Moving here? She's moving here?" Jackson shook his head. "Did I really just hear her say that?"

April nodded as she watched her husband, concern written all over her face. She had seen him get agitated over his mother, but never quite like this.

And that was what he'd heard her say. The main purpose of the morning's session was for Catherine to announce that she was coming to Seattle Grace Mercy West to be the new head of urology.

"Maybe – maybe it won't be so bad?" she suggested and Jackson just shook his head.

"It will be that bad. She is gonna be all up in our lives. This is why I left Boston, so I wouldn't have to deal with this, wouldn't have to go to the benefits and fundraisers – augh!" He shook his head again, more firmly. "We are never going to have a moment's peace ever again. She's cra—"

"Uh - Dr. Avery!" April said cheerfully and a little too loudly as, over Jackson's shoulder, she spotted the woman in question heading their way. "So nice to see you! Um, congratulations!"

Catherine smiled at her. "Thank you, dear," she said, giving April a onceover as she stepped forward to stand beside Jackson, despite the fact that he was still standing with his back to his mother. "I must say that you're looking quite well. It appears you finally took some of my excellent advice," she added with a grin and a wink.

"I – um –" April started to stammer out a response before giving up. Seriously, was the woman psychic or something?

Catherine nodded at Jackson's back. "Is he very upset with me?"

"Uh – I – I don't think he's so much upset as he is, um, surprised?" April said hesitantly, glancing sideways at Jackson, who sighed heavily and turned to face his mother.

"Baby –" Catherine started to speak but then seeing the look on her son's face, paused for a moment before continuing. "Oh, honey, I'm sorry to spring it on you like this, but I wanted to surprise you!"

"You surprised me all right," Jackson agreed, doing his best to stay calm.

"It's just – it's a wonderful opportunity, to work here, and of course, getting to spend more time with you. And of course, this mysterious girl you've been dating and won't tell me about," Catherine added cajolingly. "Is she here today?"

"She's here," Jackson replied slowly, glancing at April, who looked back at him and gave him the tiniest of encouraging nods. Jackson took a deep breath. "Yes, she's here," he repeated. "But, I'm actually not dating her anymore."

Catherine's face fell just the slightest bit and she shook her head. "Is that true, April? Did he break up with this girl once he found out I was coming out here, to spare her having to meet me?"

April shook her head. "Oh, no, nothing like that," she managed to say, afraid she was going to start giggling like a fool. "Um, actually, you – you already know her."

Jackson couldn't help grinning at the confusion on his mother's face.

"Oh?" Catherine asked and Jackson nodded.

"Yes, you've met her before. And I didn't break up with her."

"Jackson Avery, you stop messing with me," Catherine snapped, starting to sound annoyed. "You just said you weren't dating her anymore."

"I'm not dating her," Jackson shrugged. "I married her," he said, reaching for April's hand. "Mom – meet my wife."

Jackson later joked to April that they needed to mark the calendar – as one of the only times he'd ever in his life seen his formidable mother speechless.

"Your what?" she finally said.

"My wife," Jackson repeated, secretly kind of loving getting to repeat the phrase. He hadn't said it out loud to hardly anyone at all yet and it really felt pretty great. He let go of April's hand and put his arm around her waist, pulling her tight against his side, guessing (correctly) that she might need the extra support at that moment.

It was an agonizing few moments before Catherine finally let out a squeal of joy and threw her arms around both of them.

"You sneaky little things!" she cried as she stepped back from them. "How long has this been going on?"

"Since boards," Jackson replied automatically. "Wait – you're not mad?"

"Oh, I'm mad as _hell_ that you ran off and got married without letting me throw a par-tay to celebrate," Catherine retorted. "But honey – you look so very happy. And all a mother every really wants is to see her baby happy." She turned her gaze on April, studying her carefully. "You'll find that out soon enough, I think," she said knowingly. "How far along are you?"

April just stared at her mother-in-law, mouth agape. "About four months. And _seriously_. How do you _do_ that?"

Catherine shrugged. "It's a gift," she said, waving a dismissive hand. "Things are going well? You're feeling okay?"

April nodded. "Everything's fine so far."

"Wonderful. Well, I have to get down to HR and fill out some paperwork – but we'll go to dinner tonight to celebrate, yes?" Her tone easily indicated that this was a command and not an invitation and Jackson and April both nodded dumbly.

"Good!" she smiled broadly before hurrying off down the hall, leaving them dumbfounded in her wake.

April looked at Jackson. "That went – well?"

He nodded agreement. "I think so," he said, adding with a grin, "You were great. Very confident." His arm was still around her waist and now he turned to face her, pulling her against him. "I love confident you."

April grinned. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," he grinned back. "Well, I love anxious you, too. I love all of you. But confident you? She's hot."

April laughed as he lowered his head to kiss her. All in all, the day was off to a good start.


	9. Chapter 9

"You will not _believe_ what your brother has done."

Secure in the knowledge that her mother was 3,000 miles away on the other side of the country, Lydia Avery Harrison didn't bother to hide her smirk as she replied, "Hey mama. So Jackson finally told you how he ran off and got married?"

"You knew?" Catherine replied indignantly. "How?"

Lydia rolled her eyes. "He told me," she said simply.

"Well, just look at the two of you sharing secrets behind my back," Catherine huffed and Lydia grinned.

"Oh, come on, you know you love that we finally act like the friends you always wanted us to be."

"Mm-hmm. Certainly took ya'll long enough."

Lydia had to admit that her mother was right about that. She'd been seven when Jackson was born and while she'd been excited to have a baby brother, she'd quickly realized that he was just one more demand on her busy parents' time. It wasn't until Jackson got through his first couple years of college that they'd ever actually sat and talked like adults. She'd grown to regard her brother as a friend and she had a lot of respect for his commitment to living his life without bowing to the pressure of the Avery name. She herself hadn't been so strong, and while she loved her job and her husband, the fact that she was at Mass Gen and married to a surgeon handpicked and introduced to her by her grandfather was a constant reminder of how she'd spent her whole life toeing the family line.

"I had to wait longer for him to grow up," Lydia said, her usual retort. "But anyway – he texted me a picture of my new sister-in-law – she's pretty. Do you like her?"

"I do," Catherine replied after a moment of consideration. "She's a sweet girl and she's a good fit for Jackson."

"Specializing in trauma, he said?"

"Eventually – she didn't pass her boards this year. She'll have to retake them next June. But she's smart. From what I gather, this relationship was just starting up around the time of the boards and it distracted her. I think she panicked, from what I heard from some colleagues."

"Couldn't handle the pressure of boards and yet specializing in trauma?" Lydia asked, sounding skeptical.

"I know it seems incongruous. But I think she's actually someone who thrives in the moment. I think it's when she has too much time to think and anticipate problems that she struggles. She'll know what to expect this time. That will help. And Jackson will study with her, I'm sure."

"He is head over heels, isn't he?" Lydia cracked and Catherine laughed.

"I think he is," she agreed. "It's kind of nice to see."

"How he'd take the news of your move?"

"Okay, I suppose. He'll adjust – it will be different for all of us." Lydia agreed and the conversation moved on to other topics.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"We'll need two glasses of champagne and one of sparkling cider," Catherine said to the waiter, who nodded before hurrying off. Catherine turned to April and Jackson and smiled. "I certainly think this occasion calls for a toast, don't you?"

"Mom…" Jackson protested half-heartedly, knowing it was pointless, and Catherine frowned.

April reached over, giving Jackson's hand a gentle squeeze under the table and smiling at Catherine. "It's not necessary – but it's very kind of you. I'm – um, I'm glad you've taken this news so well."

"Well, I meant what I said this morning. I just want Jackson to be happy." The waiter returned with the drinks then and once they each had a glass in their hand, Catherine raised hers in their direction. "To my son and his lovely new bride. I wish you every happiness."

They both uttered quiet thank yous before the waiter returned to take their orders. Once that was done, Catherine turned towards April again.

"So tell me, dear – what did your parents have to say about this?"

April flushed before stammering out, "They, uh – they don't actually know yet. I haven't gotten up the nerve to tell them."

"I see," Catherine said quietly, her tone implying that she didn't actually quite see. "Have you met them before, Jackson?"

He nodded. "Once – intern year?" he replied, looking to April for confirmation. "Or was it the next year?"

"Intern year," April said. "That winter. My dad's a farmer," she explained to Catherine. "There's very few times of year that he can leave the farm and even then it's only for a few days. He's got some great employees, but he hates to leave them in charge for too long."

Catherine nodded. "And your mother? What does she do?"

"She's a teacher. Fourth grade." April smiled. "That can be a tough age, but she loves them. So it's hard for her to get away too, during the school year. And in the summer – well, it's just so busy at home – all the crops coming in and everything."

"That is certainly understandable," Catherine agreed. "But I certainly hope you plan on telling them your news sooner rather than later, because it sounds like they'll need plenty of time to make arrangements to come to Boston for Christmas."

April's face reflected only surprise at this statement and Jackson groaned quietly to himself before saying, "Whatever you're planning Mom – just let it go."

"I will not 'let it go'," Catherine retorted. "You are my baby boy and if you think I'm not going to have some kind of celebration of your marriage, then you have obviously forgotten who your mother is."

"I assure you," Jackson said dryly, "I have not forgotten who you are. I was at Lydia's wedding, remember?"

Catherine dismissed this comment with an impatient wave of her hand. "Your sister's wedding was lovely. And while I certainly understand and sympathize with the difficulties that sometimes come with being an Avery, you know as well as I do that you cannot avoid this. The name still means something, not just in the medical community, but in Boston society and if we don't have some kind of party, people will think we don't approve of the marriage. Your grandfather would have a fit and it's a fairly minor thing to give in to him on."

"This is not fairly minor, Mom," Jackson replied, a touch of exasperation in his voice. "This is a lot to ask – of us and of Joe and Karen. April's parents," he added after seeing the slightly confused look on his mother's face.

April tuned the conversation out around this point and instead concentrated on keeping her internal freak-out from showing on her face. This was crazy. A party to introduce her to Boston society? Getting her dad to leave the farm for a few days? Dragging both her parents into this situation? It was bad enough thinking about calling to tell them that she was married and that they were going to be grandparents again. But throw in going to Boston for Christmas for some ridiculous party thrown by her new in-laws?

Once again, she seriously felt like she might be sick. Only the touch of Jackson's hand on her arm brought her back to the present.

"Are you okay?" he asked in concern. "You look pale as a ghost."

"I – I'm okay. I think. I – I'm just feeling very overwhelmed all of a sudden."

"Welcome to being an Avery," Jackson sighed. "I'm sorry – I should have warned you – I should have known all this was coming."

Catherine looked genuinely sympathetic. "April, dear, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to throw all this at you. But I would like very much to extend an invitation to your parents to join us in Boston for Christmas this year. And I'd like to call and introduce myself to them – once you've told them, of course."

April nodded dumbly. "Of course. I – I'm going to call them in the morning, but I'll have Jackson let you know once I've been able to talk to them."

"Are you concerned they'll be upset?"

April shook her head slowly. "Not upset, exactly – just, um – surprised?" She glanced over at Jackson, who was holding her hand by this point, and he smiled reassuringly at her. "I – well, you can probably guess that I've never really had a serious boyfriend. So they won't be expecting something like this. But they've already married off two daughters, so they probably won't mind not having to put on another wedding."

Catherine smiled at that. "I can certainly appreciate that sentiment! One daughter was enough headache – how many of you are there?"

"Four. An older sister and two younger."

Catherine shook her head. "Goodness," she remarked before turning serious. "And the baby?" she said carefully. "How will they take that news?"

April looked down. "I don't really know. Disappointed, maybe, that I wasn't married when it was conceived. But jprobably mostly just really surprised. It's just all gonna be unexpected and I'm really nervous about telling them."

Catherine nodded. "I certainly understand that. I hope it goes well," she said sincerely.

"Thank you," April replied quietly as their food arrived and Jackson squeezed her hand.

"My, this looks delicious. Let's eat!"


	10. Chapter 10

It was super late by the time they got home from dinner with Catherine and April stifled a yawn as she sat down on the couch and pulled her shoes off.

"Tired?" Jackson asked sympathetically as he settled on the opposite end of the couch.

April nodded. "Your mother is exhausting," she replied without thinking and then clapped her hand over her mouth once she realized what she'd said. "I'm sorry – I mean – you know I love her –"

"But she is exhausting," Jackson cut her off with a quiet laugh. "Welcome to my world."

April smiled sheepishly as Jackson continued, "I'm serious. Do not for a second feel like we have to do this party and Christmas in Boston thing."

"Oh, I don't know," April said slowly. "It might not be that bad. It would do my parents good to actually get away for a couple days. And if it means that much to your mom, then, well…"

Her voice trailed off as Jackson frowned. "Should you even be flying anywhere in December? Isn't that too close to the due date?"

April quickly counted the weeks in her head and then shook her head. "It's close, but it should be okay. I'll be right about 34 weeks at Christmas and that's the general recommended cutoff. But, seeing as I'd be traveling with a doctor and there'll be more of them than I can count at our destination, I think I'd be okay, don't you?"

"I don't know," Jackson joked. "There's not much call for plastic surgeons in the OB/GYN world."

April laughed. "True, but I think I'd trust you if necessary. Besides, I've never been to Boston. Kinda always wanted to go."

"Yeah?" Jackson replied. "Yeah, Freedom Trail, the Harbor, all of that historical stuff, right?"

"Well, yeah, that. But mostly I wanted to go there when I was a kid so I could find Joey McIntyre's house," April giggled. "You know, New Kids on the Block?"

Jackson rolled his eyes. "Really?"

"Of course! I was so in love with them when I was like, nine. My sister Libby was obsessed and so eventually we all were. It was perfect – four sisters and five guys to pick from – we could each have a favorite."

Jackson couldn't help but laugh at the tween-like enthusiasm she was displaying. "Of course," he said mock-seriously and April swatted his leg.

"I'm serious! Libby liked Jon, because he was also the oldest and the 'serious' one. Kimmie, of course, was all about Donnie the bad boy and Alice liked Jordan because he played the piano and she wanted to take lessons one day."

"And why did you like Joey and not the other guy that was left?"

April smiled thoughtfully. "Oh, Joey-Joe. Well – I liked that he was kind of sarcastic and playful. And he had gorgeous blue eyes. And his hair would get totally out of control curly when he let it get too long, and I thought that was cute." She giggled again, looking thoughtful. "Come to think of it, that could actually describe another guy I found myself in love with recently," she said, glancing sideways at him and batting her eyelashes in exaggerated fashion.

Jackson laughed. "I'm not sure if that was actually smooth or if I should be insulted."

"Oh, it was totally a compliment," April grinned. "I mean, basically I'm saying you totally live up to my childhood fantasy."

"Good to know," he grinned back. "And you're basically also saying that you're gonna ditch me in Boston to stalk your teen idols?"

April shook her head. "No ditching, I promise. I will be brave and I will meet your family and I will do my very best not to be scared of your grandfather."

"His bark really is worse than his bite," Jackson said before turning serious. "But as long as we're talking about being afraid of family members –"

April bit her lip, pretty sure she knew where he was going with this.

"Have you really not called your parents yet?" Jackson asked, frowning. "I thought you were going to do that last week."

"I know," April replied, looking a little miserable. "I chickened out. I'm sorry. I just – I really, really have no idea how they'll react or what they might say and I just –"

"I know," Jackson said gently. "But you have to tell them."

"I know," April groaned. "I know," she repeated, glancing over at the clock. "Okay, it's after midnight already. If I stay up just a couple more hours, I can catch them when they get up in the morning. Deal?"

Jackson nodded. "You want me to stay up with you?"

"Please," April said simply.

Jackson nodded again. He turned sideways on the couch so he was leaning back against the arm of it and stretched his legs out along the length of the couch. "C'mere," he said, reaching out to grab her hand and pull her over beside him. April obliged easily, resting her head on his shoulder.

They were still holding hands, his left in her right, and she found herself fidgeting with his ring instead of her own for once.

"It still feels kinda weird, doesn't it?" she asked quietly. "Being married and all."

"Yeah," Jackson replied. "Not a bad weird," he hastened to add. "Just weird."

"No, I know," April said. "And the baby…" her voice trailed off, her other hand sort of automatically going to rest on her stomach, the teensiest hint of a swell just starting to be visible.

They hadn't actually talked about the baby much, except in an abstract sense. In all truthfulness, it still didn't feel quite real to her yet and she figured that that was probably even more so the case for Jackson. They'd been so focused on becoming a couple and then becoming a married couple that they'd both – whether consciously or not – kind of put the baby thing in the back of their minds.

"Yeah," Jackson echoed, his free hand going to cover hers. "It is really, really weird to think about, isn't it? That there's like, a whole person in there?"

"Completely weird," April agreed. "I just – I don't know. It doesn't seem totally real yet, ya know?"

Jackson nodded. "Tell me about it."

April laughed. "Poor kid, with parents convinced it's an imaginary baby."

Jackson snorted. "Seriously."

They continued talking and laughing quietly for the next couple hours, April eventually dozing off on Jackson's shoulder. He himself was not fully awake, but somehow managed to stay alert enough to gently shake her awake around 2:30 in the morning.

"April," he whispered, "It's time."

She sat up, shaking herself awake, before reaching for her purse and getting her phone out.

"Okay," she said, taking a deep breath as she settled back beside him and scrolled through her contacts. "Here goes nothing."


	11. Chapter 11

April paused, thumb hovering over her parents' home number, but Jackson's arm was around her shoulder and he gave her a reassuring squeeze and so she took a deep breath and pressed the number.

It felt like an eternity passed as the call went through and began to ring, but in reality it was only about a ring and a half before her mother answered.

"April? Honey, is that you? Is everything okay?"

April winced, picturing her mother in the big, cheerful farmhouse kitchen. "It's me, mom. And everything's fine."

Karen laughed, a little nervously. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to panic. It's just so late in Seattle; it's the middle of the night there! So I thought for sure it must be bad news…"

April shook her head. "No, no. I was just – up late anyway and wanted to make sure I caught you, so I stayed up a little later, that's all. You know, since moving to a more normal schedule as an attending, it's not as easy to navigate the time difference as it was when I was a resident. And – I - well; I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Oh?" Karen's voice was that uniquely maternal mix of concerned and intrigued and April swallowed hard at the sound, suddenly feeling guiltier than ever. She'd completely come to terms and made peace with her situation and her choices – but it's so hard to tell your parents you've done something unexpected.

She glanced nervously at Jackson and then stood up, feeling claustrophobic all of a sudden. Jackson made a gesture that seemed to question if she wanted him to leave the room and she shook her head vehemently. She wanted him nearby – she just needed a little space.

"Well, um – do you, ah, do you remember my friend Jackson? Jackson Avery?" April stammered out and in Ohio, Karen frowned, thinking back on the one visit she and her husband had made to Seattle.

"I think so," she said slowly. "He's the one with the very pretty eyes, right?"

April blinked, slightly surprised that her mother had noticed that. "Um, yes, actually. How did you -"

Karen laughed, cutting her off. "You have pictures with him on your Facebook. Those eyes are hard to miss."

April allowed herself a grin as she glanced across the room at those eyes watching her with concern. Somehow, moms were always right.

"Anyway – we – well, you know we've been friends for a long time and well – we've kind of been dating since this spring."

"Kind of?"

April grinned sheepishly. "Okay, we have been dating since this spring and I'm sorry I didn't tell you before –"

Karen, well versed in how April's rambles could go on, cut her off again. "Honey, it's okay. You're not obligated to tell us everything. But, oh – I'm so glad to hear it. Your father and I have been praying that you would find someone to share your life with. "

April wasn't sure how to respond to that, although it did make her think that maybe God had more of a hand in everything that had happened than she had thought. After all, prayers didn't always get answered in the way you wanted them to be.

"What? I'm sorry, I spaced out for a second."

Karen smiled. "Thinking about those pretty eyes, weren't you?" she teased and April giggle nervously before Karen continued, "I said, do you think it's serious?"

April let out another nervous giggle. "Well – yeah. Actually, I know it's serious. We – oh, God," she muttered, half to herself. "I don't even know how to say – "

"Say what, April?" her mother prompted gently and April took a deep breath as her pacing brought her back around to the couch and Jackson reached out and grabbed her hand. She tossed him a grateful smile and then just said it.

"We got married last week."

"You got married?" her mother echoed. "Are you messing with me, is this a joke?"

April shook her head. "No. No joking. For real. We went downtown to the courthouse last week and just did it."

Karen was quiet for a moment before saying, "And what led you to make a decision like that?"

"Well – like I said, we've been friends for so long that when we realized we had feelings for each other, we figured why wait?" April offered weakly, knowing instinctively that her mother already knew the rest of her news.

"And?" Karen said quietly.

April closed her eyes. "And – I'm pregnant."

Karen nodded at the words she had somehow known were coming and sank into one of the ladder-back chairs arranged around their big, wooden kitchen table. She was quiet for a long time and on the other end of the line, April was beginning to worry that she'd hung up and her phone just hadn't realized it yet.

"Mom?" she finally said tentatively. "Mama, I'm so sorry. I know I'm letting you and Daddy down and I just –"

"April, no!" Karen replied, April's voice jolting her out of her thoughts. "Oh, honey, no. You're not letting us down, really you're not."

"Are you sure?" April asked uncertainly. "I mean, you didn't say anything and I –"

"No, no," Karen hastened to explain. "I was just thinking – about how much things have changed, will still change – for all you girls. This is big. And it may not be the ideal way I would have wanted things to happen for you, but like you said, you and Jackson have been friends for a long time. You have a strong relationship to build on." She laughed suddenly. "After all, I did say that your father and I have been praying for a partner for you, someone to share your life with. And, well, you know as well as I do that the Lord works in mysterious ways sometimes. You've always been so focused on your studies and your career – maybe this was the only way He could find to help you make room for love and family too."

April considered that for a moment, not sure that she entirely believed that, but as long as her mother wasn't yelling or disowning her or anything, she was gonna go with it.

"Maybe so," she said non-committally while sitting down and flashing a grin and a thumbs up at Jackson.

"I'm proud of you for making some tough choices," Karen continued. "Marriage is hard. Kids are hard. But they're rewarding too." She sighed. "I'm just sorry we didn't get to give you a wedding. What about the flowers and butterflies you always wanted?"

April shrugged. "Maybe that stuff doesn't matter as much as I used to think. The really important part is the right groom, right?"

Karen laughed. "That is true. But still – we should have some kind of celebration. Maybe next summer, after the baby? When are you due?"

"Early February. And, we actually kind of already have the celebration in the works…" April went on to explain the party that Catherine wanted to throw in Boston over Christmas, at which point Jackson kind of tuned out of the conversation. It seemed to him like his new mother-in-law had taken things well.

"Okay, I'll give Catherine your number and she'll get in touch with you. Don't let her steamroll you into anything. She's a little intense but she means well and she's been wonderful to me. And then you can call me after you've talked to her and we'll make plans for Boston. Oh, I'm so excited!"

Jackson couldn't help grinning at his wife's animated face as her call came to a close. "Okay, mom – I love you too. Good night!"

April pressed 'end' and tossed her phone in her purse before turning to him with a huge smile on her face.

"She's okay with things?" he said dryly and she laughed and smacked his arm.

"More than okay!" she said happily. "And she's gonna tell dad and smooth things over with him and get everything arranged for them to get to Boston." April breathed a happy sigh and leaned over to kiss him. "This is such a relief," she said between kisses. "I should have told them right away, I'd have felt so much better."

Jackson laughed. "You're definitely more relaxed," he agreed as she crawled into his lap, still kissing him. "And I think that's a good thing."

April giggled. "Definitely a good thing," she replied as she started unbuttoning his shirt.

Jackson grinned as he grabbed her hands, stilling them for a moment as he met her eyes. "I love you," he said seriously. "I really do. And I'm really glad this went so well."

April smiled. "Me too. But even if it hadn't, I'd have been okay. Because I have you. And you make me feel like I can do anything." Her smile turned mischievous as she pulled her hands free and went to work on the last few buttons. "I love you too," she whispered against his neck as he stood up, bringing her with him and carrying her down the hall to their bedroom.


	12. Chapter 12

“Does this make you sorry that we didn’t have a ‘real’ wedding ceremony?”

Jackson posed the question to his wife, who was nestled in his arms as closely as her growing belly would allow, as they moved slowly around the dance floor at Ben and Bailey’s wedding.

April considered the question for a moment before shaking her head. “Not really, no. It was just the ceremony – we’re still having a big party, just at a different time.”

Jackson gave her a skeptical look. “Yeah, and my mother’s planning the whole thing. That doesn’t bother you at all?”

April grinned knowingly. “It really doesn’t. I mean, yeah, I had my girlhood fantasies of wildflowers and – and butterflies – but, we’ll be at the farm next summer and my parents will have a party, so I’ll get to have that then and you know, you grow up. You change. You figure out that in the end it’s not about the wedding, it’s about the marriage. That’s the important thing, right?”

As if to illustrate April’s point, the baby chose that moment to make a kick and Jackson laughed. 

“I think it agrees,” he said lightly and April frowned. 

“He or she,” she said with severe emphasis on the pronouns, “is kicking you because you keep calling him or her ‘it.’”

Jackson rolled his eyes good-naturedly at this familiar argument. “It’s not my fault the baby –“ here he paused, as if waiting for approval on this term; at April’s nod and faint grin, he continued. “has inherited all of their mother’s modest genes and won’t let us see what kind of parts they have.”

He had a point. They’d had two ultrasounds so far and neither one had yielded a reveal of their child’s sex. It seemed fitting though, considering the baby itself had been a huge surprise – why not have everything else about it be a surprise. So they’d grudgingly accepted that they wouldn’t know whether they were expecting a son or a daughter until the child made its appearance. But it was hard not knowing which pronoun to use – sometimes they went back and forth between he and she, sometimes they or their but always, April at least, trying not to use the word ‘it.’

April laughed. “Something tells me you might not be complaining so much about modesty if the baby is a girl. At least not when she’s about fourteen”

Jackson grinned. “Maybe not.”

April shook her head. “That, of course, depends on if she inherits your charm and charisma. If she takes after me, then trust me, you don’t have to worry at all about boys noticing her.”

“Hey, cut that out,” Jackson said firmly. 

April shrugged. “It’s true,” she said simply. “But it’s okay. Things work out the way they’re supposed to, I think.”

“They worked out pretty well for me,” Jackson agreed with a smile, dropping a kiss on the top of her head, marveling again at how things had worked out for him. A year ago, he’d been coming off of a break-up. He’d never in a million years have believed it had someone told him that a year later he’d be married to his best friend and just a couple months away from becoming a father. It was kind of crazy but also kind of perfect.

They stayed on the dance floor for another song or two before heading back to the table where Meredith and Alex were sitting with Callie and Arizona.

“What a weird day,” Jackson remarked as he sat down beside April. 

The others nodded in agreement. From the delayed ceremony to the motorcycle gang at the hospital, it had been a long weird day. Alex, Callie and Arizona had all started drinking before they got the page from the hospital and so had stayed behind.

“Worst wedding ever,” Alex grumbled, half-seriously. “I was hoping to score with a bridesmaid or something. Didn’t know they’d all be married and two-thirds of them lesbians,” he declared, receiving laughs and eye rolls from the rest of the table.

“Why didn’t you bring one of your intern fan club?” Jackson queried.

Alex shrugged. “I’ve told you. I’m trying to be a grown-up. No more interns.”

“Besides,” Meredith added, “he’s already slept with the ones that’ll have him. Wilson hates him – “

“Or is scared of him,” Arizona interjected.

“Whatever,” Alex muttered.

“And Edwards only has eyes for Jackson,” Meredith continued, nodding across the table at him.

“Wait, what?” Jackson asked in confusion. “Edwards has a thing for me? I thought she was interested in plastics!”

Meredith shook her head. “The only pretty face she’s interested in is yours, my friend.”

Truly surprised by this, Jackson looked to April for confirmation. She nodded.

“It’s true. I overheard her the other day trying to figure out if your eyes are green or blue and then decide that it didn’t really matter ‘cause they were gorgeous either way,” April said, holding back a giggle at the look on her husband’s face. “So, when I taught their skills lab that afternoon, I made sure to keep my left hand on my stomach through pretty much the whole lecture and throw in as many references as possible to ‘my husband, Dr. Avery.” She grinned triumphantly as the other three women nodded in approval and Jackson kind of blinked in surprise.

“Wedding rings displayed on a baby belly,” Callie summarized. “Nice.”

Their attention was drawn away at that moment by the clanging of silverware against glass and demands for a kiss between the bride and groom. Jackson took advantage of the distraction to lean over and quietly say to April, “You’re really okay about this?”

April looked over at him and nodded. “I’m fine. It’s not your fault she has a crush on you or finds you attractive. Quite frankly, I’d be more surprised if she didn’t,” she said with a grin.

Jackson rolled his eyes at that comment and April laughed. “Don’t be modest,” she said teasingly. “I know you know you’re hot. But I also know you chose me and you keep choosing me every day so whatever. She can crush all she wants – I know who you’re going home with.” She leaned over and kissed him and then sat back in her chair, smiling and clapping along with everyone else as Ben pulled Bailey into a kiss of their own.

Jackson shook his head, grinning, as he slid his chair close enough to hers that he could sling his arm around her shoulders. “Have I told you how hot it is when you get all self-confident like that?” he said softly into her ear, his breath making her shiver.

April smiled to herself. “You may have mentioned that once or twice, yes,” she replied before glancing over at him with a grin. “But it’s always nice to hear again.”

“How soon can we leave without looking rude?” he questioned and April laughed.

“The bride was like five hours late, I think we can leave whenever we’re ready and it’ll be fine,” she said, looking over at him again, taking a moment to appreciate the desire in his eyes.

“Then I’m ready,” Jackson said. “Let’s get out of here.”


	13. Chapter 13

With a sigh, April shook her head and leaned back in her chair. It was fairly late in the evening and she was the only one in the attendings' lounge and the plan had been to take advantage of the quiet and get her 'to do' lists organized, but it was almost too quiet and her thoughts kept wandering. She found herself thinking of the baby, her husband, that pesky intern with the crush on her husband, the rest of the interns – some of whom were really growing on her, everything except the things she needed to accomplish before they left for Boston.

She wasn't really sure why she kept dwelling on the intern crush, unless it was because of the fact that she really was surprised at herself for not being more bothered by it. But she'd meant it when she'd told Jackson that she wasn't upset about it. It was a simple fact that her husband was a phenomenally attractive man and, so far, it appeared to be a harmless crush. She might change her tune should Edwards ever make a blatant play for Jackson at all, but for now, she was choosing to ignore it, subtle reminders of Jackson's marital status aside. She certainly didn't want to shortchange any of the interns in terms of their educations.

It had been another surprise this fall, to realize how much she enjoyed teaching – and that she was good at it. Maybe that had also been a factor in her rise in self-confidence this year – despite her failure at the boards, she'd been able to find something that she did well and that made her feel good. Despite the chaotic way things had come about, she had this sense that her life had fallen into place.

April shook her head again, firmly. "You don't have time for this," she muttered to herself, sitting up and picking up her pen again.

"Don't have time for what?" Meredith asked as she entered the lounge and poured herself a cup of coffee before sitting down across the table from April.

"For, uh – for daydreaming, I guess," April shrugged, setting her pen back down. "We leave for Boston in three days and I have so much to get done, I can't even figure out where to start. Things to wrap up here, things to do at home to get ready to leave…" her voice trailed off into a sigh. "And don't even get me started on the things to do before the baby. I really can't think that far yet."

"I wouldn't worry too much," Meredith said lightly. "You're about to spend Christmas with both new grandmothers – I'm sure you'll be coming home with plenty of stuff."

April smiled. "You're probably right. That's probably the least of my worries. There's bigger stuff to worry about, like flying at seven months." She frowned. "Or flying at all, to be honest. I haven't, since before –"

Meredith nodded before she could finish the sentence. "Yeah, me neither."

They were both quiet a minute before Meredith broke the silence. "Your doctor said it's okay though, right?"

April nodded. "Yeah. She's not thrilled about it, but since we're both doctors, flying to where there's gonna be more doctors, it makes her feel a little better. And apparently Jackson's uncle is an OB/GYN – or well, was, he's retired now, but still."

Meredith frowned, thinking. "Is there an Avery in OB? I don't remember…"

"Oh, no," April hastened to explain. "His mother's sister's husband."

"Oh, okay then." She laughed. "So what's the sister's specialty?"

April grinned. "Law, actually. Just a coincidence of sorts that she married a doctor also." She shook her head. "It is so freakin' weird that you have like, a roster or something of my in-laws in your head."

Meredith giggled. "Not really. More just that plain old OB seems far too pedestrian a specialty for an Avery. They prefer fancier, more precise stuff."

"I know," April said with a sigh. "Jackson's already dreading the crap he might get from his grandfather over the plastics thing. And then he married a trauma surgeon who couldn't pass her boards…" her voice trailed off as she grinned ruefully. "Okay, now I'm seriously depressing myself."

"It'll be fine," Meredith replied. "I remember talking to Jackson about the whole family legacy pressure thing back in third year, just after the merger. Sometimes you know right away and sometimes you have to grow into the right specialty. I thought I wanted neuro, remember?"

"Yeah, I thought I wanted neuro too," April replied.

"Or just thought you wanted my husband," Meredith teased and April turned bright red.

"Meredith! I didn't – you know –" she sputtered and Meredith laughed.

"Relax, it's just a joke." She grinned and couldn't resist adding, "You know I was never really worried."

April shook her head. "I know. And, you know, it really wasn't a crush so much as it was hero worship of a sort. I was so damn grateful to Derek. He gave me a second chance by giving me back my job – but he was the first person at Seattle Grace to give me a chance at all."

"He's a good man," Meredith agreed, smiling. "His surgery got me out of having to go to New York and deal with his family, so there's that, I guess. Don't think I'll be able to avoid it next year though."

April laughed. "See, I could handle his family. A bunch of sisters is right in my wheelhouse. You should be married to Jackson; you'd know exactly how to deal with a bunch of surgical gods."

Meredith shook her head. "Nah, the balance is a good thing. I think it's better the way things are."

April nodded, shifting in her seat and grimacing a bit, placing her hand on her stomach as the baby shifted position.

"Running out of room in there, huh?" Meredith commented and April nodded.

"Yeah…" She always felt a little uncomfortable discussing pregnancy-related things with Meredith. She'd never, ever forget being there with Meredith the day she lost her own baby in the aftermath of the shooting and it made her feel a little bit guilty. The lateness of the hour and the girlfriend-ish nature of their conversation made her bold and before she realized what she was doing, she heard herself asking, "Is it hard for you? Being around pregnant women?"

Meredith looked startled by the question and April hastened to add, "You know, after - I'm sorry, I shouldn't have –"

"No, no, it's okay." Meredith paused, as if collecting her thoughts and then said, "It was. Especially when Callie got pregnant with Sofia. That really, really stung – Derek and I were trying so hard and she just…poof! But then they had the car accident and then we got Zola and so you know, you just never know what's in store. And you know, Zola's right about the age that the baby I lost would have been, give or take a month or two, so it's just – she was the baby I was meant to have."

April was quiet, nodding as she absorbed Meredith's words.

Meredith smiled, a smile that, had April been paying more attention, would have appeared a little mysterious. "Isn't it funny though, how easy it is to get pregnant when people aren't trying?"

April nodded, laughing. "For real."

"Decided on any names yet?"

"We've settled on middle names," April replied. "Um, Reed, for a girl and uh, Mark for a boy." She looked suddenly panicked. "That's okay, right? Derek wouldn't be upset? Or offended?"

Meredith shook her head. "I don't think so. He said himself that Mark had never had any interest in teaching anyone, ever, before Jackson, so I think he'd actually like it."

April's expression changed to relieved. "Oh, good. I wouldn't want to, you know, like, steal it - or whatever – from you guys. If you ever have any more kids."

"That don't come pre-named?" Meredith said lightly. "No, it's fine. You said middle name, right? So we could still use it, no big deal. No first names yet, though?"

April shook her head. "Nothing we can settle on. I'm still not even sure on the middle names – it feels so morbid in a way."

Meredith shrugged. "Not necessarily. It's paying tribute. Like I said, I could see Derek wanting to honor Mark that way." She frowned. "I don't know that I'd want to use the name Lexie, but maybe Caroline, her middle name."

"Oh, that's pretty. I'd forgotten that was her middle name," April said quietly.

Meredith nodded, looking downcast, before breaking the somber-ish mood by cracking, "Besides, even if I had a daughter I could name Alexandra – I'm sure Alex would be convinced she was named for him!"

April burst out laughing at that comment. "That is so totally true," she agreed between giggles before shaking her head. "I just don't know. Maybe Catherine can give me some ideas from the Fox and Avery family trees."

"Maybe so," Meredith agreed, standing up and putting her coffee mug in the sink. "I'll let you get back to your list. Good luck!"

"Thanks," April said, picking up her pen and forcing herself to concentrate. She was definitely going to need it!


	14. Chapter 14

"I think I'm going to throw up."

Jackson shifted in his seat to look at his wife with an expression that was a mixture of incredulity and concern. "Seriously?" he asked, the question aimed in the general direction of her stomach. "Seven months in and now morning sickness makes an appearance?"

April managed a grin through her grimace. "Not morning sickness, just –"

"The plane then?" The flight had been smooth thus far, at least as far as he was concerned, but maybe she was more sensitive to the motion than he was. He peered into the seat-back pocket. "Don't they still put airsick bags in these things?"

April made a face. "It's not the plane. And I don't really think I'm going to be sick, I was just being dramatic." Jackson rolled his eyes just the slightest bit at this confession, but at her next words, reached over to take her hand. "I'm just really, really nervous. The captain just said we're like 30 minutes out of Boston, which means it's almost time to meet your family and I'm kinda freaking out."

"Don't freak out," Jackson said firmly, but gently.

April laughed. "How long have you known me? How effective do you actually think it is to tell me not to freak out?"

"Okay, you have a point, but come on. It's really not that big a deal. It's really only three people – my mom, my grandpa and my sister. That's it."

April gave him a 'yeah, right' look. "What about this big party your mother's throwing? Friends and aunts and uncles and cousins and heaven only knows who else?"

Jackson shrugged. "Okay, fine. A ton of people, but really only three that actually matter."

April still looked unconvinced and Jackson sighed. "Come on," he teased. "You're pregnant with the next Avery heir. They can't hate you, at least not right now."

"That is not even remotely funny," April protested, but Jackson pressed on.

"I mean, think how I feel. I've only met your parents once before, years ago. So basically the only thing they're gonna be thinking when we see them is 'oh! There's the punk who knocked up our little girl."

"That is not true!" April exclaimed. "You have nothing to worry about…" her voice trailed off as Jackson smirked and raised an eyebrow. "Okay, you suck. Turning things around like that."

"But you got the point, right? We're both nervous," Jackson said calmly. "But we'll get through it together." He squeezed her hand for emphasis and April smiled.

"Thank you," she said, leaning over to kiss his cheek. "You always know how to talk me down."

Jackson grinned. "Something tells me I'll get lots of practice at it over the next fifty years or so."

"Whatever," April muttered good-naturedly as the fasten seat belt sign came on and the captain's voice came over the intercom to announce their final descent into Boston-Logan Airport.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It felt like years had passed before the plane finally landed, taxied to the gate and they were able to de-plane and head to baggage claim.

"Ugh," April said as they walked down the terminal.

"You okay?" Jackson asked, glancing over at her.

"I'm fine," April said pointedly. "All I have to carry is a purse. You're the one with both carry-ons. I could really carry my own bag."

Jackson shook his head. "We're taking enough risk of early labor by flying at this late stage. I've got 'em." He frowned, pausing to shift the bag he was carrying by the handles into his other hand. "Although, seriously, what did you pack – rocks?"

"Ha, funny. It's normal carry-on stuff. Magazine, iPad, bottled water, change of clothes, toiletries –" she cut herself off at the look on her husband's face. "What?"

"If all that's in here," he said, gesturing at the bag, "then what the hell's in your suitcase?"

"Everything else," she said matter-of-factly, shaking her head. "It's called being prepared, honey. You never know where your checked bag might end up."

Jackson opened his mouth as if to respond and then closed it again without saying anything.

"Anyway," she said brightly, "Who's picking us up?"

Jackson shook his head. "Not sure, actually. Whoever's not in surgery, most likely."

They reached baggage claim, checked the screen to see where their luggage would be emerging from and Jackson set their carry-ons down while they waited.

April chewed on her bottom lip for a minute before saying, "Is it wrong of me to say I hope your grandpa's busy in surgery?"

Jackson chuckled. "You can't hide from him forever."

"I know," April replied, "but I'd rather not meet him when I'm fresh off of a five hour red-eye flight. If I can put it off until I've had a shower and look halfway human, I'll feel a lot better about it.

Jackson put his arm around her shoulder, hugging her against his side. "You definitely look human, I promise. You're beautiful."

April made a face. "You have to say that."

"Says who?" Jackson countered.

April grinned. "Says the rules of having a pregnant wife."

Jackson rolled his eyes, grinning back at her. "This in the rules too?" he asked as he leaned down to kiss her.

"Nah," April replied as she kissed him back, her free hand going up to cup his cheek. "That's just extra credit."

Jackson's replying laugh was cut off by a voice approaching them.

"Okay, I know ya'll are newlyweds and all, but come on. Everybody in Massachusetts doesn't need to see all that."

"Lydia!" Jackson said as he and April broke apart and he turned to see his older sister standing there, clearly trying not to laugh.

"Hey baby brother," she said, stepping towards him and giving him a hug before turning to April. "And you must be April," she added before looking back at her brother and saying, "At least I sure hope so or else you have some explaining to do!"

April laughed as Jackson rolled his eyes and she decided that she was pretty sure she liked her new sister-in-law. Maybe this trip would be okay after all.


	15. Chapter 15

The ride from Boston-Logan to the Avery home in the Beacon Hill neighborhood was not a long one and Lydia was soon pulling the car into the otherwise empty garage.

"Well, Mom's not home yet, but Grandpa could be," she remarked as they got out of the car.

Jackson caught the quizzical look on April's face and explained, "Grandpa doesn't drive. Doesn't even own a car anymore, says there's no point."

"Wow, really?" April replied. "I can't imagine not having a car."

Lydia shrugged as she popped the rear door of the car and started pulling luggage out. "I like having one, but it's easy to get by without one. The hospital's not even a mile away, so we can walk in nice weather and when it's bad, he uses the car service. Or as a last resort, a taxi."

"There's always the T, too," Jackson chimed in, before adding dryly, "Not that our grandfather would ever be caught dead there."

Lydia laughed. "Grandpa on the subway? Never in a million years."

April shook her head. "It's so different from where I grew up. You had to have a car. Even if you were going somewhere only a few miles away, there are hardly any sidewalks, so if you try to walk, you'll probably get run over. And we don't have taxis. We have like, one, in the whole county, but it's just some sketchy guy in a mini-van with 'taxi' stenciled on the side, so trust me when I tell you, it's not even a last resort."

Lydia looked a little wide-eyed at this response and Jackson realized it was her first time hearing one of April's breathless monologues and he couldn't help laughing.

April looked sheepish. "Sorry," she said. "I have a tendency to kind of, um, ramble?"

"You get used to it," Jackson said simply, looking affectionately at his wife and Lydia had to smile at the love and adoration written all over his face. Her little brother had it bad.

"Well, come on; let's not stand in the garage all day. Come on inside and we'll get you settled."

"Jackson said you and your husband live here, too?" April asked as she followed Lydia up the steps, Jackson bringing up the rear.

Lydia nodded. "Yup. I know, it's probably a little weird, but it's so close to the hospital and the house has been in the family for like, a hundred years, so it just made sense to stay here."

"But how is there room for all of you?" April wondered. "And for us to stay here too – oh." Her voice trailed off as they stepped into the hallway and she realized that, while the house was narrow, it was a lot bigger than it appeared from the outside.

Lydia grinned. "I know, right? It doesn't look like it, but it's like, almost eight thousand square feet. There's five bedrooms, plus a nanny suite. So Grandpa has the master suite on the third floor and then four bedrooms on the fourth floor. And each has an en suite bathroom, so it's all good. Mom has her room and Cal and I have ours. And of course, Mom's not been around much lately, getting ready to move to Seattle and all." She grinned at her brother, who rolled his eyes.

"Don't remind me," he sighed, before glancing over at April, who looked a little bit shell-shocked. "You okay?" he said softly.

She swallowed hard, but nodded. "I'm – I just – "

"Overwhelmed?" he filled in and she nodded again.

"Come on, let's get our stuff upstairs and then you can have a nap before we have lunch, if you want?"

She nodded a third time and once again followed her sister-in-law up the stairs, feeling really hugely pregnant all of a sudden, especially as they started up the third and final flight. She was glad this time to only be carrying her purse and to have let Jackson and Lydia carry everything else.

"Why are we dragging all this crap up the stairs?" Jackson said suddenly, as they reached the fourth floor. "Is the elevator broken or something?"

"I didn't even think about the elevator," Lydia admitted. "I try not to use it, don't want to feel like I'm being lazy, but I'm sorry, April. I shouldn't have made you go up all those steps."

"You – you guys have an elevator?"

"Yup, it's right down the hall." Lydia pointed in the general direction and then turned towards one of the closed bedroom doors. "This will be your room – it was Jackson's growing up, but I think we've managed to get all the teenage boy funk out of it."

"Haha," Jackson said dryly as Lydia continued speaking, pointing at doors as she did so.

"That's mine and Cal's room, Mom is over there and we'll put your parents in that room when they get here."

"Thank you for letting them stay here," April said.

Lydia shrugged. "Not a problem. We have plenty of room."

April just nodded. That was the understatement of the century.

"I'll let you guys get settled and rested or showered or whatever – I know you had a long night. Mom said she'd definitely be home by lunchtime, so I'll keep her downstairs until you're ready to come down."

"Thanks, Lyd. Appreciate that," Jackson said, suddenly feeling exhausted.

Lydia grinned and turned to leave. "Glad you guys are here," she said and then left the room, closing the door softly behind her.

Jackson turned back to look at April, who had slowly sank down to sit on the bed, one hand cradling her belly. She looked up at Jackson, wide-eyed, and he couldn't help but smile at the expression on her face.

"Jackson," she said, slowly, calmly, quietly.

"Yeah?" he replied, a little warily.

"You are rich. Like, really super hugely wealthy. Aren't you?"

Jackson shrugged. "I guess. I mean, I don't think of myself that way. It's my family's money, not mine."

"Yeah, but I mean… Jackson, this house! This house is – is amazing! And you grew up here! On Beacon Hill! Across the street from the Boston Common!"

Jackson shrugged again. "Yeah, but so what?"

April laughed shortly. "So what? I just – I –" she took a deep breath and tried to organize her thoughts. "I grew up on a farm, Jackson. In a decent size farmhouse – we all had our own room, but I shared a bathroom with my three sisters and I had to get up early every day and help feed the pigs and milk the cows and, and, and - had to walk down the dirt driveway to catch the bus to public school."

Jackson sighed, sitting down beside her. "So we had drastically different childhoods – we knew that already." He glanced sideways at her. "Does this change anything? Seriously?"

April shook her head. "No," she said quickly. "I'm sorry, I'm being ridiculous, I know that. I just – I mean, I knew all this in the abstract – the family legacy, the money, the privileged childhood – but to see it for real is just a little startling."

Jackson nodded, putting his arm around her shoulders and pulling her close to his side. "I get that. It startles me a little too, when I'm here. I can kinda put it out of my mind in Seattle. I mean, you know that's part of the reason I went to the other side of the country, so I could be my own person without all –" with his free hand, he gestured at the room around them "—this." He brought his hand down to gently caress her belly. "I'm glad this kid has a mother who knows what a normal childhood should be like. Because that's what I want this kid to have."

April smiled at him, leaning over to give him a kiss. "And that's why I love you," she said quietly. Then she frowned. "But now I have something else to worry about – that everyone's gonna think I got pregnant on purpose so I could marry you for your money."

Jackson made a face. "Please," he said sarcastically. "Everyone knows you married me for my body, not my money."

April giggled. "It was a selling point," she agreed cheerfully before turning serious. "But you know it's not true, right?"

Jackson nodded. "I know. You married me because you love me." April nodded back at him and he continued, "And we're a kick-ass awesome couple and we're gonna be kick-ass awesome parents."

"Right," April agreed.

"But first," Jackson said, leaning down to take off his shoes, "I'm going to take a kick-ass awesome nap, because I'm exhausted. You in?"

April laughed. "Totally," she said, kicking off her own shoes. Jackson grinned, pulling her close as they lay back against the pillows, putting off the craziness for just a few more hours.


End file.
